What we offer:

A professional mourner can provide all the consolation you need, and not only after the death of a family member.  We are also available  to weep for any motive related to the bleak cultural panorama in which you find yourself: cutbacks in grants funding, the commercialisation of culture, the betrayal of  colleagues, of the trade unions, the increase in VAT, the pathetic politico-cultural situation, the day in which your innocence died, or when you had to bury your ideals.

The Cultural Mourners wish to offer their services to help express your disappointment through our pain, allowing you to share your suffering in the most appropriate way depending on your situation.  
We cry with you, always ready to help those who are going through a difficult period.

We offer our services to accompany you in grief, in any drama, to offer solace, for public demonstrations of grief, indeed for any motive related ( or not)  to culture- no matter what your loss is caused by for us it is always important .

We are  available whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, offering a personalised service  custom built for your needs.


Our Services

You can choose between our wide variety of services that which most suits your personal needs or create a personalised ritual, in a traditional or avante-garde style.

We offer a cut price service, and promise to beat any offer  our competitors make - within reasonable limits. Unless you have worked in this profession it is impossible to know quite how difficult it can be.

Our services include

    •    Arte povera:
Anti crisis/ cut price.With limited economic funds it is still possible to create a drama worthy of any occasion.

    •    Conceptual:
Basic, but highly dignified.

    •    Neo-realist:
our inspirations in this service include a hint of Ana Magnani. Dramatic, sober.

    •    Expresionist:
expressive and highly emotional.

    •    Dada:
our wailing becomes a stream of words and sounds with no logic whatsoever. 

    •    Luxury Service:
This will leave you breathless! It is incredibly expensive and  the price tag   will cause a sadomasochistic pain which will bring you to tears.
We also provide elegies and psychiatric help.

Estimates given with no obligations. 


 •    Lacrimarios: Embottled tears, which will adorn any space, or  give grace to your lamentations  keeping them forever present in your life, reminding you that indeed we have come to this world to suffer. Perfect as a present for any cultural events organiser or tormented artist.

Types of Lacrimario :

Pena Penita Pena/ Oh woe is me! :
Our official lacrimario, intense, aromatic and deep. Helps you  to refresh those arid moments with inspirational tears.

Crocodile Tears:
A concentrate of  tears. Portable, for use on any occasion ( also available as a spray to dampen the cheek) 

Valley of Tears:
A classic, available in large quantities for extensive use in moments of high cultural drama.

Family Lacrimario XXL ( 8 litre decanter):
Our special offer. Bucketloads of tears at an affordable price. Although they don´t have the concentrated effect of the Valley of Tears  they will help you out in difficult situations.

Tear gas Lacrimario:
Tears in gas form which will spice up any ambience and generate a real complicity in grief. A highly contagious concoction of forced, but effective tears : whether they want to or not this gas will make all your friends cry in unison.  

Molotov Lacrimario :
( see picture)  Pure dynamite!

    Specially designed Lamentation cards: estimates available.
•    Tear-stained handkerchiefs.

Contact us for prices and a copy of our catalogue